We Need to Talk

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I sometimes struggle when I have to talk to someone about a difficult situation. I’m not sure what to say or how to say it. And it doesn’t have to be business-related either. I was recently faced with a situation that I needed to shift from being challenging to becoming cooperative.

I decided to go back to some basic steps to help me transform being overwhelmed and anxious to empowered.

When I met with the person I had to talk to, I first said, “we need to talk. Then I stated what the purpose of our meeting was, and then I made sure to state a positive intention.  Next, I stated the issue and/or asked questions. This would give me an idea of what the other person was thinking. I’ve found that their answers can be very different from what I’m experiencing.

After this discussion we could then explore solutions that would benefit everyone. Putting the ball in the other person’s court, so to speak, helps them come up with different solutions and feel that their thoughts or ideas mean a lot to finding an amicable solution.

The last step would be to define and confirm what was discussed, what options would be good to try and establishing a time-frame to re-evaluate.

While I don’t look forward to difficult conversations, I know that with practice the right words and questions will come easier and I won’t feel so anxious, even if the other person has that deer-in-the-headlights look when I approach them and say: “We need to talk.”